ikols | open post | psls

[ The ship isn't far off his sci-fi graphic novels, about as big and sweepingly clean as he imagined with some cute as fuck uniforms going around. Their security isn't god-proof, however, and it certainly isn't Loki-proof, so he infiltrates The Enterprise with ease (it's not their fault, no shade!) and spends a day acclimating to their computer system. Being a hacker who has gotten inside Stark's tower before, Loki manages well and then, once he has decided on a backstory and persona, stops being invisible with the use of his shadowthread coat. He opts for blue, the irony of being a science officer immensely appealing, and goes by Lieutenant Lukas if anyone asks ... and they do, because he's an amiable fellow with a charming smile, with a handful of friends by his second day. Chris is spotted three times, always from a distance as Loki melts into the background. The captain is businesslike without being cold, professional while showing courtesy, and Loki builds up a better picture of why the crew (even the lowest of underlings) seems to like him so much. They respect and trust him on their voyage.

And, sure, Loki could have waltzed into Chris's quarters on day one but where would the fun have been in that? He learns some of the Starfleet lingo and fraternises with his new friends, making a small groove for himself in the unwitting kindness of the ship's beating heart, and it's fun. He's not half-bad at the jobs he gives himself, shrugging when other officers consult their amended rotas and complain about their superiors moving things around again without a heads-up: but they never blame the apologetic lieutenant who suggests he could benefit from their help, not once.

On the fourth day, Loki decides to amp up his game and roots out where Chris is. On his way from the bridge with some of the senior staff, Chris looks like he's happily drowning in his job and it occurs to Loki that he ought to let him get on with it, there are surely important things Chris is taking care of, but then he feels a jealous tug in his chest at the idea of going unseen for another day running and a possessive streak wins out, prompting him to spend a moment too long looking at Captain Pike as they pass in the corridor — up and down with a flirtatious smile curling in the corner of his lips — before continuing on with the ensign at his side, not hearing a word she says about the report he's holding. ]

[ It's not that he doesn't spend time thinking about Loki, about that dream-like afternoon spent on that backwater little moon, about the smell of pine needles and the chill of winter snow, but... Chris loves his job, and his job loves him back, and oh boy, does his job eat up all of his time.

When he's not reading reports he's writing his own, when he's not on the bridge trading too-friendly banter with his navigators he's holed up in his ready room with his head of security or his XO, when he's not making the rounds of all the varied departments in the ship he's prepping for whatever diplomatic delegation he's supposed to make nice with next.

Most days he winds up snatching at least one meal in the mess instead of his own quarters, not wanting to deal with cooking for himself but also being of the firm belief that the replicator in the ready room is sub-par compared to ones in other areas of the ship. He's aware of the ebb and flow of the crew around him, some of them greeting him, most of them just giving him a nod as they pass, but since few of them are brave enough to strike up a conversation with him outside of their work duties, he mostly remains unmolested and is able to focus on his work in peace.

The first time he gets any inclination that something is amiss happens on a totally random day as he's walking through the hallway listening to Spock give him a verbal synopsis of the report he'd already submitted hours ago. Chris has read it, of course, but he's no scientist, not in the way Spock is. Sometimes he likes to have things explained to him properly, so he can ask questions. And, also, because Spock is much funnier in person than he is in writing, and Chris needs to get his giggles in where he can.

He's just managed to goad Spock into explaining something very obvious that he understands just fine when he feels a prickle on the back of his neck. In and of itself, it's not so strange. He knows many of the crew watch him as they pass, either through wariness or awe, but there's just something to the quality of the stare that's making his hindbrain perk up and pay attention. Tuning out Spock's droning recitation of facts, he scans the people in the hallway around them as they walk, noting the familiar and unfamiliar faces both. Of a ship with over five hundred enlisted crewmembers — plus some family members, to boot — he doesn't know all of them by sight, but...

That young man looks very familiar.

They're nearly around the corner before Chris's brain clicks on, and then his head swivels quickly back to look over his shoulder, his eyebrows drawing down instantly in a frown.

Surely not. Could it be? ]

[ Loki makes it all the way to the turbolift, turning on his heel to raise the report and chatter back inanely at his companion. When he glances up to find Chris still there at the other end of the corridor, the delight crinkles his eyes and he gives him a conspiring, obvious wink.

Then the doors close and off he goes to another section of the ship, blood thrumming with excitement. ]

[ The problem with that plan is that Chris has access overrides to any and all the ships systems. And while he's not quite alarmed enough to shut the turbolift down completely, he does log in to the security cameras, does check to see what floor it's heading to, and does tell Spock he has to go, so sorry, something's just come up.

He takes another turbolift down to G Deck, and through a combination of luck and simply knowing the ship backwards and forwards after all these years, he manages to get himself directly in line of the trajectory of who he's certain is Loki — how? — and the red-shirted Ensign he'd been talking to.

Time for the Captain Face. ]

Excuse me, I'm so sorry to interrupt, Ensign... Carr. [ By some miracle, her crew profile flashes in his memory and he can remember her name. Giving her as charming a smile as he can while still remaining professional, he takes half a step towards Loki, already subtly herding him away from her. ] I need to speak with the Lieutenant.

[ He'd wonder where Loki even got a Lieutenant's uniform, but he's seen up close and personal just how easy it is for him to change his appearance. Is that how he got on the ship? How long has he been here? Surely not since the last shore leave, right?

Right? ]

[ His eyes widen in surprise to see Chris already goddamned waiting when the lift opens but that works in his favour, Carr is genuinely flustered and stammers out an Of course, Captain. Loki scraps his plans of fleeing to play hide and seek and tells the ensign, I'll catch you for lunch, with an air between them of If The Captain Has Finished With Me that both of them read from different angles.

He straightens up as he's seen other officers doing around Chris and cocks his head, holding onto his report as if nervous. ]

You want to speak with me, Captain?

[ For all intents and purposes, Lieutenant Lukas looks entirely bewildered as he follows Chris out. ]

[ At least the surprise on Loki's face seems to be wholly genuine. A small point in his favor, but Chris's mind is still reeling through endless possibilities and he finds it difficult to feel smug right now.

He smiles reassuringly at the Ensign and then turns a much flatter look on Loki, already mentally dismissing her completely. ]

On me, Lieutenant.

[ He'll do him the courtesy of not making this A Thing out in public, but if Loki thinks Chris is going to fawn all over him for breaking into his ship god knows how long ago, he's going to get an unfortunate surprise. Never quite letting Loki out of his sight, he leads them into an unused conference room and locks the door behind them, taking half a moment to compose himself before turning and staring down the slender, pretty form of the young man he bedded so thoroughly on that little planet all those weeks ago. ]

How long have you been on my ship, Lieutenant — [ he reaches in to pluck the delta badge off Loki's uniform front, flipping it between his fingers to see the information engraved on the back, ] — Lukas?

[ Chris told him to behave, last they saw one another, so Loki does right up until the doors are locked.

The padd is tossed across the conference table onto which he hoists himself, hopping into place to swing his legs, hands between his thighs on the edge. All the sweet surprise vanishes and he grins widely, pleased to see Chris so much that he can't contain his reaction. ]

First of all! Don't be mad. You mustn't!

[ As much as he might want to, Chris doesn't step closer, staying out of arm's reach and folding his arms over his chest. Not at all to prevent himself from reaching out or anything, no sir.

The pleased excitement on his face feels entirely believable. That doesn't mean that it is, though. ]

You're telling me not to be mad when I've just discovered you've somehow managed to get past every bio-filter we have on this ship, to infiltrate its ranks so believably that you've managed to pose as an enlisted member of Starfleet for god knows how long, fooling all of our security systems and my personnel alike, potentially exploiting a weakness in our systems that could jeopardize every single soul on this ship, for whom I am directly responsible?

Chris.

[ Gods above, it sounds like being told off by Thor. That's a turn-off and a half.

Loki stops swinging his legs, softer with sincerity as he tamps down on his excitement. When you put it like that it sounds like I did something wrong, he very wisely decides not to say. ]

I've hurt no one, damaged nothing. I wanted to see your home and it is beautiful, a technological wonder! I ... wanted to see you in your home, without spoiling it for a while. I said I would find you again, not that I would broadcast doing it.

[ #GodOfLies technicalities, a person ought to mind those verbal loopholes. ]

Don't you "Chris" me. If you're going to pretend to be a Lieutenant on my ship, I am your Captain and you will address me as such.

[ Funnily enough, right now he's not super concerned with being a turn-on. He's still trying not to let his mind spiral into all the many ways this could go terribly wrong, all the enemies the Federation has acquired being able to exploit the same weaknesses Loki had — yes, he knows they aren't as technologically advanced as Loki seems to be, but that doesn't mean they couldn't be at the right place at the right time, like the people of Kiley 279 who bastardized warp technology to make bombs that nearly wiped out their entire planet — into visions of walking through the halls to see all his crew slaughtered and left to die where they lay.

His explanation, while making sense from a certain angle, is not enough to get Chris to lower his hackles at all. ]

You don't break into someone's home unannounced to watch them from the shadows! [ He nearly follows that with a "who raised you?" but manages to bite it back in time. He knows precious little about Loki's childhood, but he knows enough to keep his mouth shut. ] Why didn't you reach out to me? You have my communicator codes. I would have given you access.

[ Probably. ]

I wasn't peeping on you in private, anybody can watch you about the ship. Frankly, they do, and an alarming number of your crew think it's a pleasant diversion. [ Sniff. ] I'm not a jealous soul, however, so you needn't worry on that score.

[ It was actually hilarious and how he made a bunch of friends, but he'll return as much ammo as he can if Chris is going to bark at him, disgruntled by it. Loki huffs and leans back on his hands, slouching on the table as he shoots Chris a sour pout. ]

Captain.

[ He's never been unaware of the eyes following him as he moves through the ship, though he has maybe been willfully ignorant of all the reasons why people might stare as he goes from one place to another. It's none of his business, really, and part of the sensitivity trainings that are required for moving up the ranks do deal with how to manage a junior member of the crew developing an unfortunate crush. It's not unheard of, after all, being so far from home and crammed into a small space like this with a limited number of crew. The end of most five-year missions involve a lot of weddings for a reason.

He wants to continue to let himself spiral with his anxieties and his anger, but the more sensible part of himself forces him to calm down a little, enough that he can at least let his arms fall down to his sides once more. ]

I don't think that you snuck into my quarters to watch me change or something. [ Well, he didn't before, but now... ] But Loki, can't you see how this is a problem? A flaw in our security system? What if it hadn't been you to try and sneak onboard but someone else? Someone with, perhaps, a less harmless end goal?

It's not a flaw in your security, I am a god and my purview is lying, breaking, and entering places and things and people. The scale is somewhat tipped in my favour.

[ He snaps impatiently, sliding to his feet. Green eyes track over Chris's face, the pout on Loki's turning into a frown. His throat works on a lump even as his voice remains steady. ]

I came here to surprise you.

[ One of the reasons Chris is such a good captain is because he's calm and steady, even in uncertain situations. He might react on instinct at first, but it doesn't take long for his more rational mind to take over.

One of the reasons he's not such a good captain is because he's always been unfortunately swayed by his emotions. He knows Loki, to a certain extent, and while the fiasco that was his relationship with Alora and the Majellans in general perfectly underscores that just because you spent an enjoyable day with someone doesn't mean they can't surprise you with the dark depths of their character, he can't help but believe Loki.

They really need to sit down and frankly discuss the god comment. ]

Well. You certainly succeeded.

[ His posture relaxing, the frown on his face receding, he reaches out and raises a hand towards Loki, though he doesn't take a step forward. His body language isn't precisely inviting right now. Chris supposes he can't blame him. ]

Loki...

[ Oh, no. Chris doesn't get to howl at him and then reel it all back in by being an excellent kisser in a conference room with a very conveniently empty and durable table! Not that that is where Loki's mind went as soon as they stepped inside, not at all. Smoothing out his expression, Loki runs a hand through his hair and straightens his blue shirt, scooping the padd up from where it skidded to a halt. ]

I have reports to deliver.

[ With a cool dismissal of the outstretched hand, he tries to step around Chris to get to the door. ]

[ The problem is, right, is that Chris is between Loki and the door, and when Loki tries to side-step him, all Chris does is snag him around the waist.

Maybe this will result in him getting thrown onto his back and needing to be taken to medbay, but he's not going to risk Loki leaving this room and then leaving the ship entirely, all while things between them are so rocky. Who knows if Chris would ever see him again?

Holding him steady and silently praying that Loki continues to let himself be held, Chris reaches up to pin his delta badge back on his chest at precisely the right angle. ]

Loki. Lieutenant Lukas. [ If that's the name he's going with while on board, Chris might as well play along. ] I apologize for raising my voice. I can see that your gesture was well-intentioned, even if perhaps the execution was lacking in appropriate nuance.

[ Even if it was a completely batshit idea that was almost guaranteed to go badly. He's not dumb enough to say that out loud, though. ]

[ All that happens is Loki goes Erk! less than gracefully and stumbles a little into the arm around his waist, which he manages to look disgruntled about. Less when the badge is pinned back into place. He turns around in Chris's embrace, the padd held to Loki's chest between them as a barrier. ]

You're calling me less than subtle when you only noticed I was aboard because I wanted you to? Really.

That's not what I said.

[ At least he's turning to face him, even if the padd in his hands is still held up between them like a shield.

When this became about Chris reassuring Loki instead of the other way around... ]

It was very subtle. I might not have noticed you for months. [ Has he not noticed him for months? How long has Loki actually been on board? ] Your disguise is flawless. I only noticed you because you wanted me to, and, more importantly, because I would recognize your face anywhere across the entire galaxy.

[ His aloof façade crumples as the wheedling from Chris wriggles its way past Loki's shields, which admittedly are more from alarm than anything else. His shoulders slump and he looks down. ]

I didn't hurt anyone or break anything.

[ To reiterate that, for the sake of it. He looks up reluctantly, not hard to do with Chris shorter than him. ]

You didn't mind when we broke into that house.

[ Alright. Things are looking more promising now.

Not so promising yet that Chris feels like he'll be welcomed if he tries for anything like a kiss, but enough so that he feels he can slip both arms around Loki's waist and arrange himself to be directly in his line of sight. ]

I know. I know you wouldn't.

[ Because he seems to genuinely like Chris, to want to impress him, to make him happy. He's not blind to that. He's just hoping that that want is actually as genuine as it looks. ]

I guess it's hypocritical, but it's different when it's not an empty house on some far-away planet, but my house filled with hundreds of souls that are my direct responsibility. If something happened to my crew because of me...

[ That rubs him the wrong way, like listening to Thor berate him for the What Ifs surrounding anything Loki ever did to create something good. But what if -? What if?? He shakes his head, not wanting to hear it and frowning again, even if Chris has every right to be upset and Loki none. Loki ought to say something like I'm sorry, I'll never do it again, or Forgive me for trespassing, but he doesn't want to because the shock of being told off makes him feel indignant with his hackles up. ]

I want to go to the mess hall. Alone.

Edited 2022-06-18 22:23 (UTC)

[ Hurt is maybe just as dangerous a feeling as anger, but it's one Chris feels a bit more equipped to deal with. Loki is obviously feeling suitably chastised, and upset about it, but not ready to apologize. Chris can understand. ]

Alright.

[ He chances rubbing one hand up and then back down Loki's back, soothing him as best he can, before stepping back a little and giving him the option to sidle away. ]

Will I be able to see you again later?

[ Or will he sneak off the ship in a huff and go hide for a few thousand years somewhere else in the galaxy so by the time he comes back Chris will be dead and gone for generations? ]

Maybe.

[ He shoots him a brief look under his lashes, riding out his bad mood as he steps toward the doors and they don't open. Sigh. ]

Unless you would like me to hack your computer, can you take your lock code off this?

[ Wordlessly, Chris turns and comes towards the computer, waking up the control panel and inputting his override code.

Right before he hits enter and unlocks the door, he turns his head just enough to look at Loki as he stands beside him, giving him a quick once-over. ]

You look good in blue.

[ His eyes drop to Loki's wrists where his Lieutenant strips shine, wondering if that silly blue bracelet they purloined down on that planet is hiding beneath the cuff.

The doors slide open. ]

You chose it for me, remember.

[ There's more than a passing chance his bracelet is beneath one of those cuffs, given Loki's colour selection of uniform. He strides out of the conference room, making a beeline for the nearest turbolift and the shortest ride to take him somewhere less stuffy, somewhere away from Chris's overwhelming presence.

He rests his head in his arms once ensconced in a corner of the galley, only he isn't left to brood alone for long. People he has met and made pleasant acquaintances with ask if he's okay, to which the response The captain gave me a dressing-down draws some whistles and exclamations, chairs squealing as they are pulled over to hear the gossip, juicy even when left at I don't want to talk about it. Before very long he has ensigns flocking his table, some over folded arms where they lean on chairs and others joking about the times they felt like melting into dirt in front of the senior officers too. A sweet girl in red pats his arm. He cheers up as he lifts his head to listen, the bad mood starting to seep away as the crew of young explorers share gallingly embarrassing stories to make him feel like the world isn't ending (because clearly, being told off by Chris is terrifying as prospects go, no matter how much they adore him).

What did you do? asks an alien in yellow that he thinks helped him on his first day. "Something he didn't like," Loki replies, and there is a sage nodding of heads, as if that's a shared fear; no real reason for being in trouble, just somehow getting to that point. After half an hour, Loki is sharing drinks with a handful of colourful shirts. He's the captain, they keep reiterating, He can't neglect to pull people up on things, don't worry too much if you still have your commission. Everyone sympathises with Loki but nobody actively criticises Chris.

It was just an unpleasant shock, Lukas. Don't dwell on it.

It's his ship to run as he wants, y'know? He doesn't hate you, buddy.

Have another drink if your shift's over, it'll help you sleep tonight.

Perhaps, he thinks, he could go to find Chris later this evening. Apologise. He supposes he did sort of step out of line ... ]

( bothering chris pike, VOL II )

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