( tony's back at the bar, pouring himself a drink and he motions with his free hand to the little spread he's prepared for loki: two large pizza boxes, as well as a takeout coffee from good ol' starbucks. )
This isn't where the Avengers live. This isn't even where I live. Well, not all the time. ( he gives the guy a look, like, come on, did he really think he'd invite him to his actual home? ) What can I say? I own a lot of properties. ( the perks of being a billionaire. )
Gotta say, I'm surprised you don't look alike. You're like the younger, more peppier version.
[ The insouciance melts away with delight as he spots the food and slides onto a stool at the bar, taking a slice of pizza to starting munching on immediately. He drags the coffee over and gets comfy, wriggling in his seat with a Look shot at Tony that flicks over him pointedly. The mouthful of meat and fruit is swallowed and washed down before he replies. ]
You're just as grouchy as my guy but he's younger. And his eyes are blue. And [ ssssiipppp, ] he lets me into his workshop.
[ Not like, willingly. Loki arrived chained up, essentially, but Tony let him out of those bonds eventually. Details! ]
Your guy. Blue eyes. Lets you into his workshop. Honestly, that just sounds terrifying. ( he grabs a slice of pizza then looks around for a plate, some napkins... he's fussy. also a little eccentric. )
You could have asked Mini-Me to build you that gauntlet. Sounds like you two are close. ( he finally takes a bite of the pie, chewing slowly before saying: ) Unless you're just making things up. ( this might be a recurring theme. him accusing loki of trying to deceive him. it's just that trust doesn't come easy. especially when it comes to dealing with little trickster gods. )
Maybe you just can't help yourself. ( just like he can't help but be an egomaniacal workaholic 99.9% of the time. this is the first break he’s had in days. then again, this probably doesn’t count since he’s technically assessing a potential future threat. )
For the record, any questions I ask tonight aren’t part of our whole three questions deal. So, you’re free to answer or not answer. It’s up to you. ( it doesn’t really matter. he’s just looking to make conversation here while they’re sharing a meal. )
Seems to me like you’re constantly traveling. But where’s home?
Maybe you don't understand what rude means. And it's Manhattan. Jotunheim. Asgard, sometimes, take your pick.
[ He hops off his stool and takes two slices of pizza with him as he wanders around, poking at a sound system and trailing his fingers over shelves, picking up things here and there. If Tony doesn't want to use a host's honour-code then Loki will be whatever kind of guest he wants, which includes openly snooping. ]
Seems to me like this is an awfully empty apartment. Where are your buddies? There were six or seven of you the last time I passed through your universe.
( there's not much for loki to see. no picture frames and nothing at all that seems remotely personal. just random decorative objects on the shelves, a couple of paintings on the walls, coffee table books. )
I'm on a break from the team. ( he's taking a bit of a time out after that whole mess with ultron. ) But we're still in touch. Thor isn't on Earth right now though. In case that's why you've been hanging around these parts. ( what's the deal with this guy, really? )
Do you have a life? ( he's really not trying to insult him. he's just wondering. ) I mean, you are here, having pizza in my apartment. And frankly, I don't have much of a life. ( gone are the days of him partying like a rockstar. his obsession with wanting to keep the world safe has had its drawbacks. )
Well, Dr. Phil. I work. I tinker. I don't do much else. ( to the point where pepper decided just last month that she was done with him and walked out. he'll toss the remote to loki from where he's standing. ) But I'm good. Let's not talk about me.
I'd love to know what your thoughts are on what your counterpart did with bringing the giant aliens through the wormhole. Were you passing through then? ( dum-e will bring the pizza box over to where loki's sitting. the bot is doing a good job of being the better host. tony will likely threaten to turn dum-e into a toaster later. )
[ Dum-e can come to Earth-616 where Loki will make a gift of him to Jane Foster who needs all the help she can get as Valkyrie. Loki pats the robot on the head as he delivers the box and Loki crosses his legs to balance it on top. His, now.
He doesn't push for information but it's interesting to be derailed in conversation by Stark so self-flagellatingly. Usually he admits nothing and tries to distract instead. Curious. ]
A year later with the Young Avengers as we fled an interdimensional monster called Mother. We were dimension-hopping, on the run. [ No secrets there. ] I've wiki'd the whole wormhole deal. Looks like your God of Mischief is brewing up to his dominion over Evil, too. That'll be fun for you ... or Thor. Probably only Thor, unless your Loki is totally reverse-poggers about everything.
Jeez, I miss the days when you and your aliens were a complete work of fiction. ( life had been one hell of a party back then. he'd successfully privatized world peace and it had all been smooth sailing for a while. minus a few hiccups here and there. still, he can't exactly resent this kid version of loki. clearly, what happened in new york wasn't his doing. )
I'm assuming the Young Avengers are a group of teenage mutant ninja kids, like yourself? ( look, he'll be nice here and bring loki his coffee, putting it down on the table. )
Nope. Unless that one's one of his kids. ( he remembers meeting his mini-mes back when the avengers needed to lay low for a bit, and clint had offered up his family home as a sort of temporary safe house. )
[ That gets a Some-Choices-Were-Made look before he clears his throat. ]
No, Kate is far from his daughter. The only members of the YA with actual parents in the Avengers are the twins, Billy and Tommy. Wiccan and Speed: the sons of the Scarlet Witch.
Clint's got two of 'em, plus a newborn. Last I heard. ( it's likely the guy will have more little bartons in the future, judging by the whole farmhouse deal. )
Scarlet Witch? Wanda? ( they'd only just recruited her into the avengers. he's definitely not in her good books and well, she messed with his mind. so there's that. ) Who's the father?
Vision. Don't ask me how, that is none of my beeswax.
[ He holds up his fingers to count down the YA. ]
Me, Hawkeye, Wiccan, Speed, Prodigy, Hulkling, America Chavez, and Iron Lad or Patriot as he prefers to be called. [ Loki grins widely. ] It's as if you and the Captain had a child and he keeps having an identity crisis.
Vision and Wanda? That can't be right. ( seems unlikely to happen in this world. then again, there's gods and aliens, so just about anything seems possible now. he'll just roll his eyes at the identity crisis bit though. he can think of one person who'd appreciate that joke about him and the cap: nat. )
What happened to the older folks? Early retirement?
Guess he's got a bit of a head start on the Iron Man gig. ( what did he do in his early thirties? oh, right. he was building weapons of mass destruction. just like what he'd been doing when he was in his twenties. good times. that's going to be on his wikipedia forever. )
Should you really be telling me all this though? Aren't you breaking some kind of multiverse law?
I don't know. ( he'll take a seat on the couch across from loki. ) It seems like you're going around interfering with life in different worlds. ( doing whatever the hell a trickster god wants to do. ) You don't think you might be messing things up in some way?
[ The way a soft, unassuming smile slides into place as he tilts his head probably shouldn't be trusted, but Loki's purview is lying and he looks awfully abashed all of a sudden. ]
Are you kidding me? I've been the hottest of messes since forever and a day. ( just ask rhodey. or happy. or pepper. or even fury. he did a whole assessment on him and even declared him unfit for the avengers initiative. ) So unless you've been stalking me since I was an itty bitty toddler, I don't think you're gonna be getting any credit for that.
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This isn't where the Avengers live. This isn't even where I live. Well, not all the time. ( he gives the guy a look, like, come on, did he really think he'd invite him to his actual home? ) What can I say? I own a lot of properties. ( the perks of being a billionaire. )
Gotta say, I'm surprised you don't look alike. You're like the younger, more peppier version.
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[ The insouciance melts away with delight as he spots the food and slides onto a stool at the bar, taking a slice of pizza to starting munching on immediately. He drags the coffee over and gets comfy, wriggling in his seat with a Look shot at Tony that flicks over him pointedly. The mouthful of meat and fruit is swallowed and washed down before he replies. ]
You're just as grouchy as my guy but he's younger. And his eyes are blue. And [ ssssiipppp, ] he lets me into his workshop.
[ Not like, willingly. Loki arrived chained up, essentially, but Tony let him out of those bonds eventually. Details! ]
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You could have asked Mini-Me to build you that gauntlet. Sounds like you two are close. ( he finally takes a bite of the pie, chewing slowly before saying: ) Unless you're just making things up. ( this might be a recurring theme. him accusing loki of trying to deceive him. it's just that trust doesn't come easy. especially when it comes to dealing with little trickster gods. )
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You do realise that just because I'm the God of Lies, I'm not a compulsive liar, right? That's kind of offensive.
[ Pulling another Face(TM) as he widens his eyes at him!! Is he teasing or serious? Who knows! ]
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For the record, any questions I ask tonight aren’t part of our whole three questions deal. So, you’re free to answer or not answer. It’s up to you. ( it doesn’t really matter. he’s just looking to make conversation here while they’re sharing a meal. )
Seems to me like you’re constantly traveling. But where’s home?
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[ He hops off his stool and takes two slices of pizza with him as he wanders around, poking at a sound system and trailing his fingers over shelves, picking up things here and there. If Tony doesn't want to use a host's honour-code then Loki will be whatever kind of guest he wants, which includes openly snooping. ]
Seems to me like this is an awfully empty apartment. Where are your buddies? There were six or seven of you the last time I passed through your universe.
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I'm on a break from the team. ( he's taking a bit of a time out after that whole mess with ultron. ) But we're still in touch. Thor isn't on Earth right now though. In case that's why you've been hanging around these parts. ( what's the deal with this guy, really? )
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You think I travel to other universes to visit parodies of my brother? Say you think I don't have a life without saying you think I don't have a life.
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[ Loki hops over the back of the couch to sink down, feeling for the remote. ]
Cheer up, King of Midgard, Lord of Plugs and Sockets. What makes you say you don't have a life?
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I'd love to know what your thoughts are on what your counterpart did with bringing the giant aliens through the wormhole. Were you passing through then? ( dum-e will bring the pizza box over to where loki's sitting. the bot is doing a good job of being the better host. tony will likely threaten to turn dum-e into a toaster later. )
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He doesn't push for information but it's interesting to be derailed in conversation by Stark so self-flagellatingly. Usually he admits nothing and tries to distract instead. Curious. ]
A year later with the Young Avengers as we fled an interdimensional monster called Mother. We were dimension-hopping, on the run. [ No secrets there. ] I've wiki'd the whole wormhole deal. Looks like your God of Mischief is brewing up to his dominion over Evil, too. That'll be fun for you ... or Thor. Probably only Thor, unless your Loki is totally reverse-poggers about everything.
[ Munch, munch. ]
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I'm assuming the Young Avengers are a group of teenage mutant ninja kids, like yourself? ( look, he'll be nice here and bring loki his coffee, putting it down on the table. )
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[ Foot service from Stark? He'll nod his head by way of thanks, sitting back with his coffee as he slides the pizza box to one side. ]
They're all grown up now, but yes. Hawkeye's protégé was their leader, do you know Kate Bishop?
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[ That gets a Some-Choices-Were-Made look before he clears his throat. ]
No, Kate is far from his daughter. The only members of the YA with actual parents in the Avengers are the twins, Billy and Tommy. Wiccan and Speed: the sons of the Scarlet Witch.
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Scarlet Witch? Wanda? ( they'd only just recruited her into the avengers. he's definitely not in her good books and well, she messed with his mind. so there's that. ) Who's the father?
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[ He holds up his fingers to count down the YA. ]
Me, Hawkeye, Wiccan, Speed, Prodigy, Hulkling, America Chavez, and Iron Lad or Patriot as he prefers to be called. [ Loki grins widely. ] It's as if you and the Captain had a child and he keeps having an identity crisis.
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What happened to the older folks? Early retirement?
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[ That should be fun, give Stark something to do while he's trying to stop her killing off whatever passes for mutants here. ]
No, they are still around. But, [ arching a brow, ] younger too. Last I checked, your wikipedia said you were in your early thirties, in my world.
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Should you really be telling me all this though? Aren't you breaking some kind of multiverse law?
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Law like what?
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Are you saying I've messed you up, Tony?
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