Do you have a life? ( he's really not trying to insult him. he's just wondering. ) I mean, you are here, having pizza in my apartment. And frankly, I don't have much of a life. ( gone are the days of him partying like a rockstar. his obsession with wanting to keep the world safe has had its drawbacks. )
Well, Dr. Phil. I work. I tinker. I don't do much else. ( to the point where pepper decided just last month that she was done with him and walked out. he'll toss the remote to loki from where he's standing. ) But I'm good. Let's not talk about me.
I'd love to know what your thoughts are on what your counterpart did with bringing the giant aliens through the wormhole. Were you passing through then? ( dum-e will bring the pizza box over to where loki's sitting. the bot is doing a good job of being the better host. tony will likely threaten to turn dum-e into a toaster later. )
[ Dum-e can come to Earth-616 where Loki will make a gift of him to Jane Foster who needs all the help she can get as Valkyrie. Loki pats the robot on the head as he delivers the box and Loki crosses his legs to balance it on top. His, now.
He doesn't push for information but it's interesting to be derailed in conversation by Stark so self-flagellatingly. Usually he admits nothing and tries to distract instead. Curious. ]
A year later with the Young Avengers as we fled an interdimensional monster called Mother. We were dimension-hopping, on the run. [ No secrets there. ] I've wiki'd the whole wormhole deal. Looks like your God of Mischief is brewing up to his dominion over Evil, too. That'll be fun for you ... or Thor. Probably only Thor, unless your Loki is totally reverse-poggers about everything.
Jeez, I miss the days when you and your aliens were a complete work of fiction. ( life had been one hell of a party back then. he'd successfully privatized world peace and it had all been smooth sailing for a while. minus a few hiccups here and there. still, he can't exactly resent this kid version of loki. clearly, what happened in new york wasn't his doing. )
I'm assuming the Young Avengers are a group of teenage mutant ninja kids, like yourself? ( look, he'll be nice here and bring loki his coffee, putting it down on the table. )
Nope. Unless that one's one of his kids. ( he remembers meeting his mini-mes back when the avengers needed to lay low for a bit, and clint had offered up his family home as a sort of temporary safe house. )
[ That gets a Some-Choices-Were-Made look before he clears his throat. ]
No, Kate is far from his daughter. The only members of the YA with actual parents in the Avengers are the twins, Billy and Tommy. Wiccan and Speed: the sons of the Scarlet Witch.
Clint's got two of 'em, plus a newborn. Last I heard. ( it's likely the guy will have more little bartons in the future, judging by the whole farmhouse deal. )
Scarlet Witch? Wanda? ( they'd only just recruited her into the avengers. he's definitely not in her good books and well, she messed with his mind. so there's that. ) Who's the father?
Vision. Don't ask me how, that is none of my beeswax.
[ He holds up his fingers to count down the YA. ]
Me, Hawkeye, Wiccan, Speed, Prodigy, Hulkling, America Chavez, and Iron Lad or Patriot as he prefers to be called. [ Loki grins widely. ] It's as if you and the Captain had a child and he keeps having an identity crisis.
Vision and Wanda? That can't be right. ( seems unlikely to happen in this world. then again, there's gods and aliens, so just about anything seems possible now. he'll just roll his eyes at the identity crisis bit though. he can think of one person who'd appreciate that joke about him and the cap: nat. )
What happened to the older folks? Early retirement?
Guess he's got a bit of a head start on the Iron Man gig. ( what did he do in his early thirties? oh, right. he was building weapons of mass destruction. just like what he'd been doing when he was in his twenties. good times. that's going to be on his wikipedia forever. )
Should you really be telling me all this though? Aren't you breaking some kind of multiverse law?
I don't know. ( he'll take a seat on the couch across from loki. ) It seems like you're going around interfering with life in different worlds. ( doing whatever the hell a trickster god wants to do. ) You don't think you might be messing things up in some way?
[ The way a soft, unassuming smile slides into place as he tilts his head probably shouldn't be trusted, but Loki's purview is lying and he looks awfully abashed all of a sudden. ]
Are you kidding me? I've been the hottest of messes since forever and a day. ( just ask rhodey. or happy. or pepper. or even fury. he did a whole assessment on him and even declared him unfit for the avengers initiative. ) So unless you've been stalking me since I was an itty bitty toddler, I don't think you're gonna be getting any credit for that.
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You think I travel to other universes to visit parodies of my brother? Say you think I don't have a life without saying you think I don't have a life.
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[ Loki hops over the back of the couch to sink down, feeling for the remote. ]
Cheer up, King of Midgard, Lord of Plugs and Sockets. What makes you say you don't have a life?
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I'd love to know what your thoughts are on what your counterpart did with bringing the giant aliens through the wormhole. Were you passing through then? ( dum-e will bring the pizza box over to where loki's sitting. the bot is doing a good job of being the better host. tony will likely threaten to turn dum-e into a toaster later. )
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He doesn't push for information but it's interesting to be derailed in conversation by Stark so self-flagellatingly. Usually he admits nothing and tries to distract instead. Curious. ]
A year later with the Young Avengers as we fled an interdimensional monster called Mother. We were dimension-hopping, on the run. [ No secrets there. ] I've wiki'd the whole wormhole deal. Looks like your God of Mischief is brewing up to his dominion over Evil, too. That'll be fun for you ... or Thor. Probably only Thor, unless your Loki is totally reverse-poggers about everything.
[ Munch, munch. ]
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I'm assuming the Young Avengers are a group of teenage mutant ninja kids, like yourself? ( look, he'll be nice here and bring loki his coffee, putting it down on the table. )
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[ Foot service from Stark? He'll nod his head by way of thanks, sitting back with his coffee as he slides the pizza box to one side. ]
They're all grown up now, but yes. Hawkeye's protégé was their leader, do you know Kate Bishop?
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[ That gets a Some-Choices-Were-Made look before he clears his throat. ]
No, Kate is far from his daughter. The only members of the YA with actual parents in the Avengers are the twins, Billy and Tommy. Wiccan and Speed: the sons of the Scarlet Witch.
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Scarlet Witch? Wanda? ( they'd only just recruited her into the avengers. he's definitely not in her good books and well, she messed with his mind. so there's that. ) Who's the father?
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[ He holds up his fingers to count down the YA. ]
Me, Hawkeye, Wiccan, Speed, Prodigy, Hulkling, America Chavez, and Iron Lad or Patriot as he prefers to be called. [ Loki grins widely. ] It's as if you and the Captain had a child and he keeps having an identity crisis.
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What happened to the older folks? Early retirement?
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[ That should be fun, give Stark something to do while he's trying to stop her killing off whatever passes for mutants here. ]
No, they are still around. But, [ arching a brow, ] younger too. Last I checked, your wikipedia said you were in your early thirties, in my world.
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Should you really be telling me all this though? Aren't you breaking some kind of multiverse law?
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Law like what?
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Are you saying I've messed you up, Tony?
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