[ Tim's recording this somewhere indeterminate. It looks like the parking lot of an abandoned industrial complex. There's a decent pile of stuff next to him, including a fondue kit in a battered box, a wine cork chandelier/mobile (Tim has no idea), an actual award, a few sequinedpieces, Glögg and julmust from Ikea, among other things that no one will pay attention to next to the giant bronto taxidermy. Oddly, it looks like there's a firestarter log in there.
He takes a seat on the bunny chair that he got from a frat being kicked off campus. He's dressed almost normally - black jeans, red shirt, but when he was stalking Freecycle and thrifting the pile of ridiculousness that sits beside him, he picked up a long fur coat and has that on. Seems fitting.
It's not the most expensive haul in the world, but it's time spent and effort. That should count for something, especially since Tim has not been feeling very jolly the past few weeks. ]
I don’t know how to shop for people that have everything without knowing them and I concede that you are impossible to pin down both as a person and just to get your attention.
I also admit there was a brief moment of attempting to look up appropriate gifts but between the suggestions of chocolate fondue fountains, “messy” arts and crafts, elaborate costumes- that one might be right - and “novelty” drinks, but it was suggesting things like slam poetry? That didn't sound right.
So, you want the pile? It's yours. You want to burn it to the ground in mockery of what the internet says about you? I've got marshmallows. You want slam poetry? I've got a voucher that literally has your name on it. God Jul, even if you don't celebrate it.
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He takes a seat on the bunny chair that he got from a frat being kicked off campus. He's dressed almost normally - black jeans, red shirt, but when he was stalking Freecycle and thrifting the pile of ridiculousness that sits beside him, he picked up a long fur coat and has that on. Seems fitting.
It's not the most expensive haul in the world, but it's time spent and effort. That should count for something, especially since Tim has not been feeling very jolly the past few weeks. ]
I don’t know how to shop for people that have everything without knowing them and I concede that you are impossible to pin down both as a person and just to get your attention.
I also admit there was a brief moment of attempting to look up appropriate gifts but between the suggestions of chocolate fondue fountains, “messy” arts and crafts, elaborate costumes- that one might be right - and “novelty” drinks, but it was suggesting things like slam poetry? That didn't sound right.
So, you want the pile? It's yours. You want to burn it to the ground in mockery of what the internet says about you? I've got marshmallows. You want slam poetry? I've got a voucher that literally has your name on it. God Jul, even if you don't celebrate it.
[ Tim follows it with a text of a voucher that's heavily conditioned. ]